Lover #7

This one is a long time coming. You see, he offered me a rather attractive mask to wear. It was specially made for me. He gave me a new name and we walked together into a complete fantasy. I’ve hesitated to write about this chapter because it has been too raw, too real. Because I’m still having the dreams. I dove deep into this imaginary life and it was truly intoxicating. At the time, I felt alive and loved and full of passion. But not that it’s over, I see the thin grey veil that was hanging over me. An illusion of joy. The cloying weight of personal sacrifice without reciprocal affection. I heard the words I wanted to hear and forgave so easily. How I bent and folded myself for him! I creased my very heart.

The sun came out this summer and I felt the earth move. The illusion had grown hazy and dull; my reality was becoming brighter and more beautiful. It was no question which direction I needed to turn. I evolved. The mask was no longer desired. It wasn’t lovely anymore either. I was more beautiful without it. And without him.